a New Poem

“I’d Rather Die”

Skipping rocks across the pond, waiting for you to respond
Why do you keep me waiting, sitting here just anticipating
Wondering what your thinking, I think I’ll just start drinking
Drown my worries in a tall glass, tell my feelings to kiss my ass

That’s what I want to do, but I just cant
Get up outta here but I got to much restraint
You see what I want to do, is say goodbye
But compared to losing you, I’d rather die

Pacing a hole in the earth, ive been impatient since birth
Why do I need you with me, when you don’t want to kiss me
Wondering what your thinking, while i sit here drinking
Fill my glass to the brim, wondering why you left me for him

That’s what I want to do, but I just cant
Get up outta here but I might just faint
You see what I want to do, is say goodbye
But compared to losing you, I’d rather die

I could kidnap ya and just run away
I want your love, but not that way
I could hold a boombox over my head
But that’s a message that’s already been said
I could write the words you need to hear
But instead ill just finish my beer

You see what I want to do, is say goodbye
But if that means losing you, I’d rather die

Waiting, debating, anticipating, to relating
Infatuating, deliberating, exasperating, and castrating

A broken pencil snapped in half, and all I can do is laugh
Cause my inebriation hit me, but I still need you with me
and i can barely hold up my head, i'd rather be dead
than to spend another minute without you in it.

That’s what I want to do, but I just cant
Get up outta here and finish my drink
You see what I want to do, is say goodbye
But if that means losing you, I’d rather die

this poem isnt about anyone, or anything really... i was more or less putting myself into the shoes of an old freind of mine and a few movies ive seen in my life. Im not losing anyone (to my knowledge) and im about as happy as i have ever been in my entire life. So dont get the wrong idea, i just really liked the chorus i came up with and had to run with it.

"Your Such an Angel"

your futre's as bright and high, as lightning in the oklahoma sky. The beauty in your baby blue eyes only brightens when baby crys. It's amazing that you were meant for me. My life, my love, my pride, my destiny.

OOOOOOhhh it's such a sweet thing OOOOOOhhh your such an angel

OOOOOOhhh it's such a sweet thing OOOOOOhhh your such an angel

your little hands clutch my finger, the feelings i have im sure will linger. you sit there staring right at me. with all the love an eye can see. it baffles me that your really here, and now my purpose has become clear.

OOOOOOhhh it's such a sweet thing OOOOOOhhh your such an angel

OOOOOOhhh it's such a sweet thing OOOOOOhhh your such an angel

No wings just a halo of gold, you cant fly but you can soar ive been told. it's magical that im so in love, with an angel sent from above. I promise to be and do all i can. to help you grow from baby into a woman.

OOOOOOhhh it's such a sweet thing OOOOOOhhh your such an angel

OOOOOOhhh it's such a sweet thing OOOOOOhhh your such an angel

Smile for me, kiss my eyes

your perfection is no suprise

smile for me, open your heart

i promise we'll never be apart.

A Poem From My Past

On a cool no forget that cold January morning, I awoke to sound of the alarm. Tears on my pillowcase and smile that lost it's charm. I struggled to fight through a headache, I struggled with every breath I take. Open the garage and a chill runs up my spine, jack frost has done it again this time. The cars is started and im back inside. It's the only place I know where to hide. Back in bed next to my baby. Her body warmth is what will save me
I glance at the clock and I know it's time to go, I give her a kiss but she just says no. she don't want me to go out in the cold as much I don't want to feel old. But its something I have to do, no matter when, where or with who. Trudging through the snow I get to my door, my mind is alive but my body is sore. Get in the car and get on my way, off to start another horrible day.
Sitting in my cubicle thinking about something to eat, saying hello to all the nice folks I meet. Smiling slightly as I peer above a cockeyed smile. I haven't enjoyed daily life in awhile. But I have so much to look forward to, a baby, the future and summer's morning dew. But I cant remember that stuff when im feeling down, sometimes I find it hard to smile while stuck in this town.
The day of work is over and I can go home, now I can smile for awhile cause I don't have to roam. I can kick my feet if for only a minute, at least I know the game and Im not the only one in it. You see my baby's waiting for me to arrive, the touch of her skin makes me feel alive. So I prance as I walk through the door, let out a sigh and throw my coat to the floor.
Of course she's got a list of chores for me to do, they seem to be the same everyday nothing new. Take out the garbage, straighten the house, change the litter box and get rid of the dead mouse. I actually love the chores I do everyday, cause it keeps me within the fray. After there done we lie together on the floor, go to bed and get ready for more.
Just a typical day in the life of baron, a little story I felt like sharing. Sooner or later this will be history, and why I was so upset will be a mystery. Cause life evolves every single day, sometimes you show your emotions, sometimes you keep them at bay. But no matter what you do what you gotta do, and always remember to smile and to yourself be true.






Poem is entitled “A Day in the Life of Baron” written in November 2007 it's kind of self explaining so i wont dabble to much or take to much of your time to explain a poem that explains itself. good day

"Oh I Silenced My Ears"

Oh I silenced my ears, yet I hear the ring.
I coughed through my vocal cords but I still sing.
Gave away the cappuccino, stole the window cling
Thought about a revival but I remembered what that’ll bring

Oh I silenced my heart but it skipped a beat
Now im panting and fallen from my seat.
Im not the same man, those memories you’ll have to delete
Ive grown up twenty years, cause I have a daughter to meet.

Oh I silenced my nerves, yet my hands still quake
I forgot the feeling but lost the my own stake.
Gave away a Picasso, own I knew they would take
So that I could stand before you, and not have to shake.

Oh I silenced the critics yet I still hear naysayers
I laughed while I prayed, but god still heard my prayers
I never gave a damn so I guess I now have cares.
The world gave me a spot now I have to be one of the players.

Oh I silenced my own mind, yet I hear rocks fall.
i pushed the car in neutral, but now it wont stall
gave away my desperation, and answered Nikki’s call
once I wanted everything, now I want to give it all.

Oh I silenced my silence but I speak so much less.
I frowned through a smile, now I grin through progress

Im not the same man, no more fighting through another mess
Ive become a man, happy and excited I confess.

I wrote this poem a few months ago, and it concentrates on the thoughts i used to have about never having a family and my ineptness in establishing roots in soceity and how the news of my wife's pregnancy had silenced those concerns. My life had found meaning and therefore "silenced my ears", so to speak. i guess it's similar to the psychotic battle of differing emotions that quietly coexist now that i know what i have to do, better yet now that i get to do what i want to do.

i hope you enjoy it. good day.

I miss "The Wire"

I have come to the conclusion that my viewing habits are no more than that of what i find intresting. A strange conclusion i know, but as redundant as it sounds and as obvious as it should be i dont regret stating the obvious. I like television to explode my over bearing thoughts in my head and replace them with objects and storys of intrest in order to truly relax my thoughts. Television should be able to captivate me, but i have found that extremely difficult since "The Wire" has gone off the air. I have attempted to appease my viewing soul with Law and Order reruns, my usual sports fix and Dexter on showtime, but to no avail. I still yearn for something that can make me wonder what will happen week to week, show to show.

Joklingly i identified with McNulty, an officer torn between his ego, demons and validation. Kind of a psychotic brother in law to the Baltimore soceity, you either love him or hate him, no inbetween. His demons crawled in the shadows throughout the seasons yet his good nature seemed to keep his head on his shoulders. He was usually the smartest person in the room whether he could validate it or not, but the need to be validated in his beliefs tore Jimmy McNulty apart as i find myself in those shoes frequently. In everything i do i intend to do well, but as a wise man once said "the path to hell is paved with good intentions." I hold pride in the fact that im usually the smartest person around, yet also im usually the least intelligent person around. Facts that celebrate my life in comparison to Jimmy McNulty as well as parralel them.

So until i find another alternative view for my mind to collaborate with im stuck with fiery dreams of police adventures and criminal mischeif to appease the demons lurking in my shadows. It's only a few hours a week the release of television is needed and applied to my soul directly, so this space may be able to be filled by Generation Kill (the creator of the wire's newest creation) or possibly some new optical adventure.

Until then im out like Stringer.